Childhood Dreams
by Perfect Soldier 01
Summary: Saifuu. Sequel to Maiden Dreams. Fujin's journey isn't over yet as her dreams become more and more real, reliving the horror and pain of her childhood every time she closes her eyes.
1. Chapter 1 Memories of Pain

Childhood Dreams  
  
By Perfect Soldier 01  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: Memories of Pain  
  
  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
The light wind blew through my short silver hair as I ran. The tears that were forming in my red eyes were quickly blown down my red cheeks. I didn't know where I was going, but I just had to get away from the huge, lumbering creature that was behind me. I could hear her loud thundering footsteps following my own small frantic pathway. The leaves and dense soil underfoot were crushed into foot shaped ditches as we ran deeper and deeper into the village forest.  
  
"Fujin! Come back here this instant! You can't run away from me!" My mother's overpowering voice shouted from not far behind me. I didn't even think about turning back, I only ran faster. I wouldn't be caught again and be beaten again...for something I didn't do.  
  
My eyes stung from the salty tears that were streaming down my face. I cried silently as I ran, knowing that my tears would only bring my 'mother' to more anger and determination to catch me. She loathed the weakness that I possessed being a child. I knew that she would eventually catch me; she always did, and always left me sore and even weaker afterwards.  
  
'It's always the same thing. I never do anything and she blames it on me.' I thought to myself, now angry as well as frightened. I glanced over my shoulder slightly to look at the monster chasing me. Her tall, broad shoulders made her head seemed dwarfed. Her large hands were outstretched hands were aimed in my direction, one holding her crimson pinwheel poised and ready to fire. The pearl white talons of the pinwheel shined brighter in the sunshine that peeped through the trees, watching the onslaught of mother and child. The long sharp blades sparkled for a second before the light was lost in the green darkness of the forest. The blinding whiteness of the blades struck my eyes with another beam of bright light as the sun re entered the small gaps of the canopy over head. The godly brightness was so pure and unstained that I had to look away. It made it seem as though the gods favoured what my mother was doing, ignoring the under dog, and cheering the beast on to victory.  
  
I guess they did favour her. At that moment as I turned my head back to the leaf carpet I was running on, a stray root from a near by tree caught my foot and wedged it in it's hole. I felt myself flip over and fall through the air. Everything happened in slow motion as my feet came over my head. I faced my mother except the almighty image was upside down. I saw her unleash her hazed red pinwheel in the light of the sun. I saw the forever changing colours of the blades spin round and round in a circle as the talons of demise slowly drove themselves towards my face. I could do nothing but let everything happen. I was too scared to move my head out of the path of the death spinning blades as I fell head over heels through the air.  
  
The blades dug themselves into the middle of my face. I screamed out in pain as the blades spun against my face. I thought I'd die at that moment as the pinwheel struck my left eye. I felt the flesh of my face being churned around and around by the forever spinning blades of my mother's pinwheel. Red blood streamed down my face merging all the tributaries from the deep wound.  
  
Suddenly everything seemed to return to its normal speed and I hit the hard ground of the forest, blood dripping from my face. I lay there, twisted on another root motionless for the pain was too much to bear. With the last ounce of strength I had left I raised my head and still saw my mother pounding towards me, still shouting. The pinwheel had returned to her hand, and I saw her about to throw the fatal weapon once more.  
  
******  
  
A scream echoed through the small Deling city apartment. I opened my one eye and sat bolt upright in my bed. I raised my hand to my black eye patch, and sighed.  
  
'Only a dream.' I thought thankfully, but I still felt tears forming in my eye. I let them run slowly down my shaking face as nobody was. I brought my head down and rested it on my bent knees as I began to cry more. Why did that happen? Who is up there that is convinced I should suffer? "Why am I always grasped in the hand of my mother, always watched and punished?!" I shouted out. I didn't realise I said anything until a voice suddenly called my name through the thin wall of the apartment.  
  
"Fujin? You ok?" I jumped suddenly, but didn't reply and pretended to be asleep. I didn't want to bother my roommate at this hour. I glanced at the clock as I sighed again, tears still lingering on my cheeks.  
  
'1.00 am.' I wiped the small sweat beads that had formed on my forehead and turned to go back to sleep, but I jumped up again as I heard a knock on my door. I sat up and called that entrance was permitted. A tall blonde-haired man stepped through the door. His red scar lay diagonally across his face. I was taken aback slightly from the fact that Seifer wasn't wearing a shirt, and I hid my red face in my covers. My vision was diverted up again as his voice spoke again.  
  
"Fujin? What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing." I said.  
  
"Well something must be up. You just screamed!" He argued back.  
  
"Nothing!" I raised my voice slightly.  
  
"Fujin...you don't make this any easier by talking like that."  
  
"Fine..." I growled in defeat.  
  
"So what's wrong?" he came and sat down beside me and looked me directly in the eye. I felt slightly nervous but I knew that I could talk to him.  
  
"Nightmare..." I said quietly. I knew what he'd say now.  
  
"Another one? Fujin...this is the third one you've had this week..." I nodded.  
  
******  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
'Another nightmare? Fujin... There isn't anything I can do to help you...although I want to do everything possible to stop you having these dreams. Why'd you have to experience something so horrible? I don't really know what to say.Anything I say might make it worse.but all I want is for Fujin to be happy.  
  
I looked at the silver-haired girl beside me. She nodded at my question. Another dream about her crazy mother. She explained further without my asking, which I was surprised about. Usually she didn't say anything unless spoken to. Fujin never ceases to amaze me though.  
  
"This one...this one was so much more...real..." I could see that she had been crying already form the tear marks on her cheeks, but I could see more tears forming in her red eye as she spoke. Her voice wavered and faltered on some word, but she continued to speak. "I felt it...I felt the pinwheel...dig into my face and...and..." Fujin couldn't finish her sentence. She burst into tears before I told her to stop talking. I hated to see her like this. I hated to see her so upset when there was nothing I could do.  
  
I reached out towards the crying girl and pulled her close, hoping and praying that my instinct was right. She made no resistance as I pulled her into a hug. Fujin let out her tears on my shoulder and accepted my act of kindness. I whispered small words of comfort into her ear, although something was telling me to pull back. I myself didn't know what had quite come over me, but it felt.good for me as well as the girl gently crying on my bare shoulder.  
  
We stayed close together in comfortable silence until Fujin's tears subsided. She pulled out of my embrace and turned her head. I could hear her cursing herself, although I couldn't hear what she was saying.  
  
"Fujin...don't say that. It's normal," her head turned to face me. "Don't be angry...we've all been through some painful experiences, some a little more than others, but you've always got friends who care for you right?" 'Where on earth did that come from?' I thought. 'What's going on? Why am I acting like this?'  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
I nodded in approval of his words of comfort. He could be pretty kind to people when he wanted to. A small smile crept onto my lips. But the next thing he did was very unexpected. My barriers rose up again as he reached out towards my face. His hand stopped at my left cheek as he adjusted his position. His other hand came up around the other side of my face and I felt my eye patch being moved up off my face. My own hand quickly caught his wrist in a protective manner. I shock my head, and pleading with him not to remove my eye-patch. I didn't want him to see the state of my face that lay under the protective black material. But something in his eyes made me feel safe. His eyes lowered my walls of fear as I relaxed my grip on his wrist and allowed him to continue. I casted my eyes downwards to avoid his gaze.  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
I didn't know what I was doing. My curiosity had got the better of me. I had never known what Fujin was hiding underneath her eye patch, but from what she had told me about her nightmares, I began to form a clearly picture of what her life had been like.  
  
'She must have been totally terrified as a child,' I thought. 'Always living in fear of what her mother might do to her. No wonder she just turned up that day at Balamb...'  
  
I gently removed her black eye patch off of her tear-stricken face and prevented myself from looking too shocked at what I saw. Her whole eye had been sealed off from the world by various straight and zigzagging red scars. As I looked closer I could see scars down that extended those at her eye, but had healed and blended in with her natural skin colour. I had never noticed them before. I ran my finger gently across her childhood wound. I looked into her other flame red eye for any sign of pain; but no change in her eyes became evident. My fingers brushed her scars as softly as possible. I drew back and looked at the silver haired girl that sat in front of me. I ran a finger over my own scar, thinking back to the pain that I had received.  
  
"Fuu..." her head turned as I called part of her name. I pulled her into another embrace, as I saw more tears arrive in her eyes waiting to be dropped. I didn't know why I did it, but I felt this was the only way of saying sorry. I was sorry that she had to live through such a painful experience, sorry that I wasn't there to protect her, and sorry for not saying something earlier. I felt her react to my embrace as her hands came around my neck. She cried softly on my shoulder as before. I think she understood what I meant, but as I held her while she cried, my guilt of being so un-emotionally tarnished rose up within me. Poor Fujin had been through so much pain and torture. I just didn't really know how to react to something like that. All I could do was gently rub her back easing the tears.  
  
But there was still something at the back of my mind saying to stop being so sensitive, so emotional and so...unlike my normal self. I ignored it as best I could, but it eventually won over. I pulled back and got up to leave. I turned round to see Fujin still sitting upright in her bed as she replaced her eye patch. I walked over to her as she lay back down to go to sleep. I pulled up the cover over her still slightly shaking body and brushed a strand of silver hair that had fallen into her face. I laid my hand on her shoulder, silently telling her to hang in there. She smiled up at me, then closed her eyes and slowly drifted back off to sleep.  
  
I didn't know what over came me at that moment, but I leaned down and kissed her forehead gently. Fujin shifted in her sleep slightly but didn't wake up. I straightened myself up and smiled as I walked out of her room and back to my own. Although I was smiling, I knew that some explaining of what just happened would be needed in the morning. Luckily Rajin won't be back from his night shift till late afternoon, so I'll still had quite a bit of time left to talk to Fujin. I just hoped that I wouldn't blurt that something that I've wanted to tell her... 


	2. Chapter 2 Refuge

Chapter 2 - Refuge  
  
  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
  
  
I smiled as Seifer withdrew from my room. Sometimes he knew just the right thing to say, although it wasn't something that happened very often. I closed my eyes, ready to return to the world of dreams, when suddenly I felt something incredibly soft touch my forehead. The feeling was there for the briefest moment, then it departed from my forehead and returned to its master. I tried my hardest not to blush, or move in any way that might upset the ghost that touched my forehead. It felt so sweet and warm.  
  
I then heard the phantom beside me get up and move across the floor of my room. The door opened and the presence that had been beside me had left my room, leaving me alone in the company of no one. I opened my eyes and sat up in my bed. I brought my fingers to the spot where the touch had come to pass. This wouldn't be something that I'd forget easily. This would haunt me until I found out what had happened.  
  
I closed my eyes again and I tried to get back to sleep. Just as I was about to fall back to my dreams, when suddenly my mother's eyes flashed through my mind. My eyes snapped open and my breathing became faster and deeper. The sight of my mother's face made me shiver. She too had crimson red eyes, but hers were mad with rage. I suddenly remembered my nightmare, and my whole body started to shake even more. I couldn't face trying to fall asleep again, only to see that monster's face again.  
  
I swung my legs over the side of my bed and stood up. My body suddenly felt cold and longed for the warmth of my blanket, but I knew I couldn't return there to sleep. My legs shivered as the material of my pyjama shorts was only thin and only reached just above my knee. I walked towards my room door and stepped out into the living room of our apartment. I looked across the small room. The couch in the middle of the room was the only other form of bed available. But I could always...no...I'll sleep on the couch.  
  
I sat down on the soft but firm sofa and laid my head against the armrest. Not comfortable. I sat back up lent back against the back of the sofa. As I yawned my eyes tempted to close. I longed for sleep to return to me. I wanted to rest without being taunted by images of my past. I decided that I would have to resort to my last plan. I crept back to my room and fetched my blanket. I dragged it along the floor, back out to the living room. I looked at the two doors facing me. One led to an empty room that wouldn't be occupied until later. The other contained my suspected phantom that touched my forehead earlier. I walked slowly towards the phantom's door and opened the wooden door hoping it wouldn't squeak.  
  
The room was dark with not much light except that coming through the curtains. He lay there motionless, breathing softly. I knew I shouldn't be doing this but if I were going to get any sleep at all, then I would have to try. I crept quietly like a timid child towards the sleeping figure. As I neared him, I could see that he was sleeping peacefully. I climbed onto the end of his bed and crawled slowly up beside him. Luckily he was turned over on one side, so there was enough room for me the crawl up the side.  
  
'This is either going to end in something good or something really bad.' I thought as I nearly completed my task. As I reached nearer the sleeper's head I began to lower my body down next to his. I rested my head next to his and placed my blanket over me. I looked at his short blonde hair and his closed eyes. His peaceful face was enough to make me smile. I reached across and gently moved a strand of hair out of his face. He didn't stir but my own eyes finally gave into sleep, and I soon drifted back to dreams. I expected to see my mother's face again, but I didn't. Instead I saw another face. He was smiling, welcoming me into his arms.  


  
---  
Seifer's POV

  
  
As I woke up, I thought my eyes were deceiving me. Fujin was lying there asleep right next to me. I suddenly got nervous, wondering what she was doing there. But there was something that calmed me down slightly. The sight of the girl lying beside me made me cease my anxiety. She looked so innocent lying there with her one eye closed. Her silver hair fell down into her face almost hiding her eye patch.  
  
I then noticed how close she actually was to me. Her head rested against my bare chest, and somehow my own arm had taken its place around her waist, lying on her own blanket. Her thin clothing brushed against my skin as she stirred. She had begun to shake again. I touched her cheek, but drew my hand back immediately. Even though she had her own blanket over her, Fujin's skin was like ice.  
  
'Fuu...what's the matter? ... Nobody else is here...and Rajin won't be back until later...so...' I decided to go ahead with my plan. I took my own blanket and carefully placed it over Fujin in some effort to keep her warm. I then gently took Fujin in his arms and let her sleep peacefully.  
  
'This must be the first time in a while that she's slept with out a nightmare...' I thought as I held the shivering girl in my arms. Her shaking gradually ceased as I felt Fujin relax in my arms. She continued to sleep peacefully. I heard her soft even breathing rhythmically enter my ears.  
  
'Having Fuu in my arms feels...good...it's different...not that I've not ever held anyone before...' My thoughts drifted from one thing to another as I listened to the even breathing of the girl in my arms; both of these carried me back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3 Memories of Fear

Chapter 3 - Memories of Fear  
  
  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
  
  
My eyes opened slowly to meet the hazy light that shone through my curtains. I turned my head away from the bright morning caller and groaned as I caught sight of the time on my clock beside my bed. It was only 8 o'clock. I shut my eyes to try and go back to sleep and turned over to block out the morning sun light. But something blocked my passage of movement. Heat ran through my body as my bare chest came into contact with the soft material of Fujin's T-shirt. My arms were still draped around her waist as were hers around mine. A smile crept to my mouth as I looked down on her sleeping figure, but I knew that if she woke up...it wouldn't be good.  
  
I unwound my arms from Fujin's waist and slowly pulled away from her. The warmth that was raging through my body suddenly evaporated into thin air. I longed to return to her arms and stay there. Her sweet vulnerable face looked so innocent, almost like a child's. My smile grew a little wider, but if I didn't control myself I could do something that I would regret later. I grabbed a shirt from my drawer and slung it lazily over my chest. I then walked over to my closet and pulled out a pair of black trousers. I took one last look back at the sleeping girl lying on my bed and crept quietly out of my room, leaving Fujin in peace.  
  
My door closed with a slight squeak, but I heard no disturbance from within my room. I crossed the dining room and opened the door to Rajin's room; there I changed my clothes. I re-entered the living room and made my way to the kitchen to get some breakfast.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
I woke up to the smell of freshly cooked food floating in the air from the kitchen. I suddenly noticed that Seifer had left my presence.  
  
'What am I going to do? I can't go out there now...after this.' I rolled over and let out a small groan.  
  
"Why did I have to be so stupid?" I said slightly frustrated that I'd allowed myself to do what I did. The sunlight pierced my eyes like a needle and that seemed to make me even more upset. Suddenly I heard the door open. I took a deep breath waiting for the disaster that was about to happen. But I got something completely different from what I expected.  
  
"Wake up sleepy head." Seifer's cheerful voice rang through her ears. "Breakfast is ready if you want it." I turned over again to face the voice that had intruded. There stood Seifer in the door way, allowing the smell of a hot breakfast to flow smoothly into and filling the room with it's fragrance.  
  
"Coming." I said trying not to make eye contact. I kept my eyes glued to the floor, hiding the red flush working it's way across my face. As I heard Seifer leave and shut the door, I raised my head and slowly followed the path of Seifer. I opened the door finding him sitting on the couch in front of the TV eating what, I suppose, he made. I crept quietly to my own room and changed out of my night clothes. I re-entered the living room and sat down on the couch with Seifer and began my breakfast.  
  
I didn't say a word to my friend sitting beside me in case I said something inappropriate about last night. The images flashing in front of me on the TV had no meaning to me. I paid no attention to the loud voices advertising various things. My mind was over loaded with anxious thoughts.  
  
'What will he say? Does he even like me anymore? What if he hates me now? Why did I do that? Was I scared? Afraid? Lonely?' I jumped suddenly as a hand placed itself on my shoulder. My head snapped round to where I thought the hand had come from. I looked up to see Seifer peering over me. I said nothing, as my mouth hung slightly open. I almost couldn't breathe I was so scared of what he was about to say.  
  
"What's wrong? You're as white as a sheet." His voice wasn't angry, nor did he seem to be annoyed about what happened. Again I said nothing, turning my head to its normal position.  
  
'What's wrong with me? Why am I so suddenly afraid of him? He wouldn't hurt me...would he?' My dream from last night suddenly hit me even harder than before. I turned around on the sofa so I faced Seifer. As I looked up at him, I suddenly started to felt sick. I started to breathe harder and I could feel the world swirling around me. Seifer slowly merged to a figure of my mother looming over me. Someone called my name. I heard Seifer's voice call almost frantically to me, but that too changed to the harsh voice of my mother. There she was, shouting my name, cursing me for something. I didn't hear her exact words, but I knew she was angry. I felt like I was a child again, being backed into a corner while my mother came forever closer. I started to cry and whimper like a frightened infant being terrified by a nightmare. My head started to swim again. My surroundings whirled around me like the wind. I felt as if something had electrically shocked me. My whole body was shaking and I cried out for help.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
I stood there motionless watching Fujin's behaviour. Her hands came up to her head as she started to cry. Even though she was sitting down, I saw her sway from side to side.  
  
"Fujin!" I suddenly became worried, something that didn't happen too often. Her eye was half open as if she were about to fall asleep, but then sprang back open as wide as possible. Her voice then shouted out through the living room. Her voice sounded shaky, but horrified.  
  
I was starting to feel very afraid. I ran to her side and knelt down beside her. Suddenly I found her in my lap motionless. Everything happened so fast that I didn't quite know what happened myself. My eyes looked down on her face to see her eye shut. I knew I had to act fast. I didn't know what had happened, but I had to get Fujin help. I gathered to paralysed girl into my arms and ran towards her room. I laid her down on her bed and looked over her. The small rise and fall of her chest took a little fear off of my shoulders. At least she was alive, but from the looks of her, she was burning up. Her cheeks were flushed and sweat was forming on her forehead.  
  
I rushed back out to the kitchen and fetched a damp wash cloth. I returned and placed it over Fujin's forehead. Life was slowly working its way back into her, but not in a good way. Fujin started to roll around in her sleep, but was soon thrashing about like a wild horse. I tried to calm her, restraining her movement before she hurt herself. Her voice regained it's sound as cries of fear were becoming audible. Her face turned to a scowl and her teeth clenched.  
  
"Fujin...what's wrong? I don't like to see you like this. Please tell me...before you don't get the chance to..."  
  
"Seifer!" Fujin shouted in her sleep. Her body suddenly moved so violently, she freed herself of my grasp. It was as if she'd just been hit with the force of a grown man. Her fierce tossing and turning came to a stop as her body became still. Everything went quiet. I could hear no noises coming from outside. You could probably hear a pin drop, but something invaded the silence. I turned Fujin over to face me and as I saw her face, tears were rolling down her cheeks.  
  
I didn't quite know what to do, but her crying seemed so apologetic, I removed the washcloth from her forehead and collected the weeping girl into my arms being careful not to wake her. I had a feeling she would be ok...for now. As she sat on my lap, her head resting against my shoulder, I held my arms tight around her thin waist. Her tears soaked my shirt, but I didn't really care. The only thing on my mind was getting Fujin better. I shut my eyes as I gently cradled the girl closer to me and I leant my head lightly on hers.  
  
I must have lost myself in a dream. Everything seemed so at peace with Fujin in my arms. She was now sleeping peacefully, although her tears kept falling from her one eye. I suddenly noticed that Fujin seemed much closer than before. I felt her body leaning gently against mine, and that her arms had come up to rest against my chest. I also noticed that her tears had stopped, and that a faint smile was forming on her lips.  
  
Something suddenly hit me. If she was content now, then there had to be a good side after her dreams right? I wonder what makes her so peaceful after such a traumatic dream? Surely if her mother abused her, then...what on earth did her father do about it? Maybe Fujin finds peace with her father...maybe he treats her better...I began to work out her dream in my mind. Maybe her mother hit her, causing her to cry, but her father comforted her.  
  
I tried to work out this puzzle, but it didn't explain why Fujin just suddenly freaked out like that. I racked my brain trying to solve what was happening to her, but I couldn't resolve this until Fujin helped me.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
I woke up slowly to find myself leaning gently against something warm. I seemed to be enclosed softly in whatever was holding me. I opened my eyes and recognised the interior of my room. I shifted and groaned quietly as I felt my head thump. I felt as if I'd been sleeping for a week, and had a huge headache to wake up to. I felt a presence above my head, but leant against further my supporter.  
  
"Fujin..." I heard a familiar voice flow softly through my ears. My eyes opened fully and I felt as if I'd been crying. I obviously had, as I saw a damp circle embedded into the material I was resting against. I craned my neck upwards and found myself looking into Seifer's blue eyes. I gave him a weak smile and nodded.  
  
"You ok?" I nodded again, but my head was getting slightly worse. I brought my hand up to my face and winced slightly at the metronome thumping in my head. "I don't think you are." I detected a slight hint of humour in his voice and I looked up at him again.  
  
"This isn't funny!" I said feebly. Seifer grinned slightly, and removed my hand from my head. He replaced it with his own, allowing me to rest against his shoulder. I closed my eyes and listened to the faint beat of Seifer's heart.  
  
"I know this isn't funny..." I opened my eyes again to see Seifer's face looking down on me. He was serious, but his face wasn't angry. It was sympathetic. I suddenly wanted to tell him every thing that happened, but I was holding back. Something was blocking my words forming in my mouth. Something was telling me to stop and slow down. I knew I could trust him but something was telling me that if I said another word, I'd get hurt. I knew that nothing could hurt me, Seifer wouldn't let harm come to me, not after all he's done to help me...but...even my father couldn't protect me... 


	4. Chapter 4 Confession

Chapter 4 - Confession  
  
  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
"Fujin...please...tell me what's bothering you." My words flowed out of my mouth before I could stop them. The girl in my arms looked up at me sharply. I saw her bit her lip slightly and look away again almost as quickly as she looked up. Her gaze travelled toward the floor behind us. It was obvious that she wasn't too keen on telling me. Her red eye looked hesitantly towards me again. I could see from the expression on her face that she was still overcoming the trauma that had just happened. But I knew that a girl of Fujin's strength, not just physically but emotionally, could bring herself to tell me what happened.  
  
Her mouth opened as if to say something, but no sound entered my ears. I looked down at her frightened face, reassuring her to continue with what she was going to say. But suddenly she moved herself closer to me resting her head once again on my shoulder. I was, to say the least, shocked at her affectionate actions, but I responded as she would have wanted me to. Then she quiet words found their way out of her mouth, and she told me her story.  
  
"Everything was ok to start off with... My mother, father, and me all lived together happily only having the occasional fight. But one day...I was playing outside when one of my neighbours came up to me. We started playing with our cards together. Everything went fine until she was losing and accused me of cheating. My mother came out and told us to stop arguing, but after my friend went home she had a real go at me for making her upset. This kept happening over and over again until another day when we were playing baseball. My friend broke the one of our windows and at once ran home. My mother came out and thought I did it. My mother adored where we lived, but we were a bit short of cash at that point, so we didn't have enough money to pay for another window... She...hit me...and shouted at me...I...I tried to tell her it wasn't me but..."  
  
Fujin broke off at that point bringing with her a fresh cascade of tears. I tried to comfort her, but I didn't know quite what to do. I'd never been in quite a situation the same as this. My feeble attempt to calm her down was only rubbing her back slowly up and down. Her arms had tightened around my waist in a death grip, but by now, Fujin had exceeded her limit. The tears still trickled down her cheeks, but her body had become weak and tired of writhing backward and forward, her breathing was becoming harder and deeper, and her face had become as red as her eye.  
  
My hand reached up to her face to stop her twitching. As my skin contacted the soft surface of her face, I almost withdrew it. Her red tear stained face was burning up.  
  
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Fujin's POV  
  
I felt Seifer's icy cold hand come into contact with my hot clammy face. I thought I could even feel my own face let off steam as the cold impacted the heat. I tired to slip off my blue jacket to cool me down, but my body wouldn't obey my thoughts. The strength I had possessed had fled the stronghold in which they resided. I felt lifeless and inadequate when I realised that I couldn't even get my jacket off of my shoulders. I leaned onto my wall of comfort as that was about the only thing I could do.  
  
Suddenly I felt the heat entrapment that enclosed my shoulders being lifted up and sliding down my arms that now lay by my side. I looked up at my friend and saw him working my arms out of my jacket. I silently thanked Seifer in my buzzing head. My free shoulders welcomed the cold air that drifted through my room. I heard my jacket fall to the floor in a heap, and Seifer's arms came back around my fragile form. I had calmed down a little but still felt as if I would fall apart any moment.  
  
"I'm sorry..." I said quietly. "I'm...so...sorry." I felt as if I could cry again.  
  
"Why are you sorry? You haven't done anything..." Seifer's words sounded confused.  
  
"I don't want you to have to sit through all this...because I'm not worth caring about. You must think I'm such an idiot..."  
  
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Seifer's POV  
  
A wave of anger soared through my body. I wasn't angry with Fujin, but I was annoyed that she could say such a thing about herself.  
  
"An idiot? You're anything but an idiot." I held her tighter, not wanting to let her go.  
  
"But...my crying..."  
  
"Fujin...I would have cried. There's no reason to call you an idiot. If anything I've been an idiot for not realising what's wrong. I'm sorry."  
  
"Seifer..." I felt her arms reclaim their place on my shoulders. I knew that it was now or never. I bent my head down past her face and whispered softly in her ear.  
  
"I love you." At once she drew herself back. Her eye was wide with astonishment. She almost looked scared of what I said.  
  
"You...what?" Her voice was faltering. Her unstable words sounded frightened, but in a surprised sort of tone.  
  
"I love you Fujin..." I repeated again.  
  
---------------  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
My mouth hung open a little as I stared at him. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to answer him in the same words, but I was too overwhelmed to speak. Instead I sat up straighter in his lap and reached up toward him. I saw him lean down and my hung open mouth found his. I kissed my guardian with all the passion I had left in me. His lips felt soft against my own. My hands came to toy with Seifer's hair at the back of his neck, and his hands pulled my body closer to his own. The kiss wasn't rushed or too lustful, instead it was full of gratitude and commitment.  
  
A lone tear fell down my cheek as I knew that someone loved me. No one had said anything like that to me since...forever. It felt good to finally realise that someone cared for you, someone who would look out for you, who would care for you at all times even when everything looked critical. I pulled back and looked at my lover. I smiled, something that I hadn't done for a long time.  
  
"I love you too." I leaned forward again and reclaimed his lips showing how much I loved him, how much I needed him to help me through this. I leaned forward towards my bed and pushed him down with me. I lay on top of him as his hand came to my face and caressed my cheek lightly. His other hand remained on my waist keeping me against him.  
  
Suddenly both of us heard the front door of our apartment open. I broke the kiss immediately and stood up. Seifer rose off of my bed too and then both of us realised who it was.  
  
"I'm home ya know." I heard Rajin's voice shout through the door. I looked at Seifer and he caught my gaze. His blue eyes looked at me half with love and the other half with concern.  
  
"Stay here..." I then left my room to greet one of my best friends. 


	5. Chapter 5 Memories of Death

Chapter 5 - Memories of Death  
  
  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
  
  
I knelt in a dingy corner, tears running swiftly down my face. I could hear shouts coming from somewhere in the house, but I didn't know where they originated. As I picked up various parts of the conversation, my body began to tremble with fear. My spine tingled from the harsh words that I heard. I felt like rushing out of my house and fleeing from the events that were about to happen.  
  
Suddenly I heard something break and smash against what sounded like the table in the living room. I heard the faint chink of glass fall into the hard stone floor. Piece after shattered piece screeched like a bat and sounded over and over again. The table scraped against the floor, sounding the moans from the olden wooden structure. I could hear it sharing my sorrow as it cried out long whining bellows.  
  
I heard one final shriek from my mother as I sat in my corner. A deep voice gasped for breath, but then a deep thud then struck the cold floor as a cry of terror escaped my mouth. I heard footsteps then progress in my direction. They rang through the silent empty house like church bells. I hide my head in my hands trying to pretend that I didn't just hear what had gone on. I felt a lump in the pit of my stomach that I didn't like the company of. I didn't want to believe what just happened. It just wasn't true. What I thought just happened, didn't!  
  
"Get up you brat!" The great roaring sound of a bear echoed around the small room. I unveiled my eyes and looked timidly up to the tower in front of me. Her hands were stained with blood, as were her clothes splattered with small crimson stains. Her eyes looked like they were on fire. Her red orbs were raging with an angry passion. I whimpered at the mere sight of her.  
  
"I said get up!" I rose immediately at her command, unsure of what she wanted me to do. I thought my eyes were betraying me as she withdrew her pinwheel from the sheath on her back. She looked it over, running her fingers over the sharp blades, and feeling the grip. My lips trembled as I saw the crazed look on her face. She'd been drinking again. A small cry was uttered through my shaking lips as my eyes widened. I backed myself as far away from her as I could, slowly feeling the cold, stone wall behind me. I didn't know where to go or what to do as I watched her possessed body.  
  
"Papa?" I mumbled through my quivering mouth. My mother spat on the ground the moment I said 'Papa'.  
  
"Gone." Her voice had no feeling at all. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach, squashing the lump already present. I wanted to be sick. My father really couldn't be gone from this world, could he? It was if she had no guilt of murdering my father what so ever. " Now Fujin...be a good girl and stay still..." I could even smell the liquor on her dark lips. The odour of a drunkard filled the cramped room and burned my sense of smell.  
  
Not waiting to see what my hulk of a mother would do, I ran for the open door that led to the back yard. I heard her screams and shouts chase after me, then I heard her thundering strides thrash on the delicate grass.  
  
-------------------------  
  
My eyes shot open. Again I was lying on my bed, the covers flung around on the floor. The dim light that filtered through the curtains indicated that the night was just beginning. I sunk back into my pillow and sighed. Only another dream. I longed for these to stop so I could finally rest in peace, without being haunted by past events concerning my childhood.  
  
I hopped out of bed and crept out to the living room. I didn't remember falling asleep. The only thing I remember was going out to greet Rajin... I found my two best friends sitting on the couch watching the TV. The loud voices and images flashed and changed like the blink of an eye. I walked over to the twosome and sat down beside them.  
  
"Hey Fuu," Seifer greeted me. "You've woken up eh?" I nodded.  
  
"When...did I fall asleep?" I looked at them confused. I didn't remember a thing.  
  
"Oh...Rajin brought you into your room...You're just tired. That's all." Seifer finished informing her of what happened.  
  
"Oh..." I sat silently for a moment. "I had another nightmare." I said quietly. Both of them turned their attention towards me, ignoring the TV. Rajin didn't really look that concerned, but I could see the anxiety in Seifer's eyes.  
  
"You look hot, Rajin...be a pal and go fetch a damp cloth."  
  
"Ok ya know." He rose and left us.  
  
"Come on...you're going back to bed."  
  
"But!" I pleaded. The last thing I wanted was to go back to sleep.  
  
"You won't if I'm there with you." A serious look overrode his apprehension. Rajin returned and handed the wet cloth to Seifer. "I'll be back soon." Rajin nodded and went back to watching the TV.  
  
Seifer took my hand and led me back to my room. I lay back down and smiled weakly at him. The limp, dripping cloth was placed on my forehead. I looked up at Seifer through my one red eye. His lips curved into a smile slightly as he brushed back stray strands of my hair. His soft, gentle hands brushed lightly over my skin. They lingered on my forehead for a while, until they moved on to my eye patch. He flipped the black material up to reveal my scared eye. I wasn't quite sure of what he was doing but I didn't mind. He leant down, his face so close to mine.  
  
I didn't know why but I began to shake slightly. I felt nervous at what he was doing. I let out a deep breath that I'd been holding as his lips touched the dead eye. I shuddered as a new sensation rushed through my body.  
  
"Don't be afraid." He whispered softly. He must have sensed my uneasiness as he rose again.  
  
"Will I ever get better?" I asked.  
  
"Of course you will. I'll take you to Balamb Garden tomorrow ok?"  
  
"Why Balamb Garden?"  
  
"Well...Dr. Kadowaki is the only, but best doctor I know."  
  
He always knew best. I could always rely on Seifer to work things out. But there were sometimes that I didn't want him to work things out. Sometimes I wanted to do things on my own. To be able to prove to people that I could do something by myself, without being supported along the way.  
  
"Thanks." I reached up to his face with my hand, lingering there for a while. His hand kept it from falling, pressing my hand to his face.  
  
"You'll be ok. I promise. You want to know why?" A sly smile crept to his features.  
  
"Why?" I smiled back as his face neared mine.  
  
"Because I love you." He murmured just before he captured my lips. I felt my bed shift as he climbed onto it. His body weight leant against me as he continued the kiss. His hand that was holding mine came down to my waist and began to run up and down my side slowly. My hands repossessed their spot on the back of his shoulders. Seifer kissed me lightly again and again, each time softer but with more affection than the last time.  
  
"Hey! I'm going to work ya know!" I faintly heard Rajin's voice yell from the living room. I paid him no attention, as neither did Seifer. We both heard the door slam, but that didn't interrupt Seifer's gentle, but passionate onslaught.  
  
***  
  
The dusk pulled on into the night, and less light flooding through my, now shut, curtains. I looked at Seifer's peaceful sleeping form beside me. His clothes were creased from lying in the same position. I figured as long as Seifer was by my side, I wouldn't have anymore nightmares. It had worked once before and it would work again, I hope. I laid my head against Seifer's chest, and quietly drifted off to sleep. 


	6. Chapter 6 Train Ride

Chapter 6 - Train Ride  
  
  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
  
  
"I'll leave a note for Rajin." Seifer scribbled something down on a piece of paper quickly and then walked towards me. "Ready?"  
  
"Ready." I smiled. We walked out of our apartment tower and both of us headed towards the nearest bus that would take us to the station. As we walked side by side, Seifer grasped my hand. He looked down at me smiling. I grinned back at him and squeezed his hand tighter.  
  
We caught the bus to the station, walked down the escalator and onto the platforms. The loud speakers echoed through the dimly lit station. Smoke from the trains lingered around in the underground tunnels. I never had liked going down here. It was always so dark and somewhat creepy. You wouldn't know what kinds of people were lurking in the shadows or clouds of smoke.  
  
"The train for Garden, departing west, will be leaving on Platform 2. Please stand behind the white line." The male voice thundered from above. I felt my hand being pulled towards one of the trains. I followed on my imaginary lead like a dog.  
  
The train began to pull out of the station and out into the basking sunlight. I'm finally going to find out what's wrong with me. No more nightmares. I glanced at Seifer, who seemed to be deep in thought. His head was buried in his hands, but I could tell that he had his eyes shut. I poked him lightly in the ribs. He immediately jumped out of his daydream. I giggled quietly at his nervous reaction. He was looking in every direction. He turned his head towards me as I started laughing. An evil, sly, plotting look came to his blue eyes.  
  
"What are you laughing at?" he questioned.  
  
"You." I sniggered. During the last day or so I must have laughed more than in my whole life. I never knew what it was like to be happy, but I liked it. I felt good about myself, instead of always hiding in the background.  
  
"I'll get you for that. But I'm going to let you live in fear for the rest of the day until I decide your punishment." He smirked as I raised my eyebrow.  
  
"You think I'd fall for your lame threat?"  
  
"Yes." He looked down and started to play with my fingers that were still comfortably resting in his hand. I guess I would never figure out Seifer. He was one of those people who just kept surprising you once you thought you'd cracked their personality. He ceased to amaze me everyday. From the first day we met right through to now.  
  
On the outside, Seifer was the toughest, strongest person on the planet. His oversized ego would stretch for miles, with him proving that he was the best at everything. Nobody could match his courage and determination. He was always eager for a new challenge to show off his techniques. But on the inside, Seifer was really a big kid waiting to grow up. He wants the life of a child that he never had. His whole life he's been trying to act cool and make an impression on everyone. He's been trying his hardest all his life, never having time to be what he wants to be. Lately his deep, untouched self has been making numerous appearances. He doesn't need to try so hard anymore, allowing his true self to take over. He's finally realised that other people can't and won't control what they want him to be. He will shape his own life and self. That's what I love about him. I love him being able to be himself and not someone else.  
  
"What're you thinking about?" His voice interrupted my thoughts.  
  
"Oh," I jumped slightly. "Nothing much. You." I felt heat rise to my face.  
  
"You were thinking about me?" I turned away nodding to hide my red face.  
  
"No need to hide." He pulled me back to him so my head was resting on his shoulder. I grinned as I listened to the even pace of the train moving along the tracks. I suddenly felt tired and very warm. I sat up straight again, and slipped off my jacket and dumped it in Seifer's lap. He turned to look at me.  
  
"Is it me or is it really hot in here?" I could feel the sweat starting to form on my forehead. Seifer gave me an odd look.  
  
"It's you. Are you feeling ok?"  
  
"Fine," I reassured him. "I'll think I'll just go and get some fresh air..." I stood up, but wobbled slightly. I shook my head and continued to walk to the door. Something in the back of my mind was telling me to sit back down, but I ignored it, not wanting it to be what I thought was coming. I opened the compartment door and went to open a window. I moved my head to the path of fast flowing fresh air. The cold wind pushed back my short silver hair and swept over my face like water.  
  
I suddenly realised that this was no ordinary 'feeling hot' situation. Something in my stomach was swirling around, not wanting to stay still. My head began to spin, confusing images with another. I extended my arms for balance, and tried to find my way back to our compartment. I fumbled with the door handle, and almost fell threw when it opened. I stumbled over my feet, and looked weakly to Seifer before my legs completely gave way.  
  
-------------------------  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
I knew something wasn't right to start off with. The weather wasn't particularly hot in the first place. I was praying that this wouldn't happen again. I was waiting in our compartment, waiting for her to return. I paced around the room just in case she wasn't feeling well. I heard the door handle turn and I assumed it was Fujin returning. But I wasn't expecting that look on her face when she walked, or rather tripped threw the doorway.  
  
Her face was like a ghost, her eye looked half-asleep, and her body was swaying from side to side as if she were about to faint. I saw her look at me before she fell. I caught her frail body in my arms before she hit the floor.  
  
"Oh please Fujin...Please be alright." I muttered to myself. I carried her over to the seat and laid her down. Her body was becoming little by little more violent. Her arms were waving about and she struggled to get out of Seifer's hold. She kicked her legs, unaware of anything around her. I sat down with her in my arms, trying desperately to calm her.  
  
It must be so awful for her. To repeatedly go in and out of these trances just like that, not being able to get any rest at all without being plagued by these dreams. I hated to see her in such a horrible state, but she couldn't help it. But she needed to get to a doctor soon, before these became part of everyday living, without having to fall asleep to witness them. I knew that eventually she would be ok, but if she was classed as a nutcase, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. What if no one believed what she said and just thought that she was mad? I didn't want to admit it, but there was always the fear lurking in the back of my mind, eating away at my conscience.  
  
Tears began to spring from her eye and soft moans came from her mouth. In her nightmare, she was crying, as if she were grieving over someone whom she loved. Her crying became more extreme and more sorrowful as all her grief erupted from the bottom of her soul. I noticed her hand, silently searching for something. I reached out towards it, my own hand wrapping around hers. I wanted to comfort her in every way possible, but this was all I could do for now. I wanted to hit myself as the only thing I could do was to hold her hand. That was the only measly thing I could do for helping her through these dreams.  
  
Her fierce body movements had calmed a little, but suddenly recommenced as she started to twist and turn against my body. It was then she caught me off guard. I almost let her fall out of my hold as she screamed at the top of her voice. Her face was in a grimace, her teeth clenching together and her eye screwed tightly shut. Luckily I didn't remember many other people on the train, so hopefully nobody heard her shout. Her whole body lurched again and again. I pulled her close to me, restricting her movement. Again, all of a sudden she stopped. Everything was almost the same as the last time this happened. She couldn't have had the same dream twice could she? From what she's told me, everything has happened in order...  
  
A soft moan hindered my thoughts. I looked down at see Fujin looking weakly at me.  
  
"Awake?" She nodded. "You know, you're pretty feisty when you've fainted. You know that? You almost knocked me out!" I joked. I received a punch in the side for that. "Hey!"  
  
"Seifer?" her voice was so small and quiet I could hardly hear it.  
  
"Yes?" Just then another voice invaded our conversation.  
  
"We are now arriving at Balamb Station. Please make your way to an entrance while taking all your belonging with you."  
  
"I guess we better go..."  
  
"Wait. What were you going to say?"  
  
"It doesn't matter. I'll tell you later."  
  
"Just get better ok?" I said kissing her temple lightly as I helped her up. I kept my hand firmly in hers to steady her as we made our way to the nearest exit. 


	7. Chapter 7 Problems Advance

Chapter 7 - Problems Advance  
  
  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
Balamb Garden stood before us. The great circular structure had re-settled in its original position now with the immense circular disc suspended above it. I haven't been here since Seifer re-tried the SeeD test. Since then the three of us had always been on the move, following Seifer wherever he went with Edea. The atmosphere around the Garden was always welcoming and pleasant, even if the students weren't that nice. This old building brought back so many memories.  
  
We entered our old home, walked through the main hallway, and round to the infirmary. Dr. Kadowaki almost fell over in shock when she saw us.  
  
"Nice to see you too." Seifer joked.  
  
"Seifer...Fujin. I haven't seen you for ages! How are you? Are you doing well?"  
  
"I'm fine, but Fujin isn't." She gave me a puzzled look.  
  
"Well...Lets see what I can do for you. Sit down on one of the beds." I walked past her green desk in the middle of the room, and sat down. As she looked me over, I realised that nothing had changed in here. Everything was the same. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"  
  
"When I fall asleep, I keep having these nightmares about my mother."  
  
"But its not only when she's sleeping. Sometimes she faints in the middle of the day and it happens" Seifer finished for me.  
  
"Hmmm. Strange. I suggest you just get some rest. Do these dreams happen in order?"  
  
"No." Seifer turned his gaze to me.  
  
"I thought you said they did."  
  
"No, it's just that they make up a story if you put them together."  
  
"How long have these been happening?" Dr. Kadowaki interrupted us. We both went silent.  
  
"About a week. But it's every night."  
  
"I'll think this one over. Just get some rest for now." I laid myself down on the bed and Seifer sat beside me on a visitor chair. Dr. Kadowaki opened the door, and left us. A long silence overcame us. I shut my eye, not intending to go to sleep, but just to rest.  
  
"Make sure I don't fall asleep ok?" Seifer nodded. His hand found mine and he squeezed it tightly.  
  
"What were you going to tell me earlier?" I opened my eye again.  
  
"That I never finished telling you what happened." His hand gestured for me to continue, but the words wouldn't come out of my mouth. Seifer was looking at me strangely. "She killed my father." I blurted out. At once I put my free hand to my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that.  
  
"Oh Fuu..." I felt my hand being squeezed.  
  
"That was what I was crying about earlier..."  
  
"Why'd did you scream?"  
  
"You heard that?" He nodded. "I...found Pandemona. You know what it feels like when a GF enters you. It was overwhelming. That's why I cried out." Seifer sat there looking lost.  
  
"Why is Pandemona part of this?" I remained silent. I didn't want to tell him why. I couldn't bear to tell him of the awful thing I did.  
  
"You don't have to tell me." Suddenly I started to shake slightly.  
  
"What's wrong Fuu?"  
  
"I've only got one more..." I smiled. "Only one more to go." I wanted to laugh. This would finally be over. Or at least I thought so.  
  
"That's great Fujin!" Seifer enveloped me into a hug. It was then that my laughter erupted out of me. I hugged Seifer tighter as I laughed happily.  
  
"You two seem pretty friendly." A new, but familiar voice sounded through the room. Both of us immediately pulled back blushing. We looked at the doorway to find the owner of the voice.  
  
"Squall." Seifer said nodding.  
  
"Seifer." He nodded back, while grinning slightly. I tried to hide my blushing face. I couldn't believe that Squall had walked in on us!  
  
"What's wrong Fujin?" Before I could answer, Seifer cut in.  
  
"Nothing much, now get out." I thought I heard Squall snigger, but he just turned and walked out.  
  
***  
  
Squall's POV  
  
Ok...That was something I wasn't expecting when Dr Kadowaki stopped me in the hall and said that they'd arrived. I would never have thought that that would happen. I guess that I could tell the others that they're here. I'm sure they'd like to see them again.  
  
***  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
I was good to see everyone again, even if I wasn't the friendliest person in the world. I hadn't even talked to them much and they still treated me with the respect each of them had for one another. I had to explain my problem to them, in order to explain why I was here, although Seifer did most of the talking, which I was grateful for. He knew them so much better than I did, and I was a little afraid of speaking to them. All of them were surprised when I spoke normally, instead of in my one word phrases. I guess I've grown out of that childish attitude, but it was normal for me to speak like that at the time. I didn't want to talk much; in fact I didn't want to speak at all. I wouldn't say much if I had the choice.  
  
The bell for afternoon lessons rang, and everyone said goodbye, wishing me to get well soon. Nobody came to visit once afternoon lessons were over. The night rolled on, and it came to the time when Seifer had to leave me. He had been assigned a temporary dorm and was to sleep and rest there.  
  
"If you need anything, come and get me ok?" I nodded. "Either that or find someone to get me or Squall or someone like that ok?" I nodded again. He leant down and kissed my forehead. "Sweet dreams." That was the last thing he said before he left. I shut my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me.  
  
---  
  
"Fujin...Fujin?" a deep, gentle voice woke me. I rubbed my eyes and opened them slowly. I was still in the infirmary, but someone different was there. My eyes widened as I looked to see who it was.  
  
"Papa?" I felt like a little girl again. I sat up to hug him, but he motioned for me to stop. He smiled and stood up.  
  
"Follow me Fuu." I got up and trailed behind my father. I felt as if I was dreaming. He couldn't really be here could he? My mother killed him when I was little didn't she? But that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that he was here.  
  
I forgot all my surroundings. I didn't know or even think to realise where he was leading me. I just followed like loyal dog. He wouldn't lead me into danger. He was my father and he would protect me. But however fast I ran to catch up with him, he wouldn't become any closer. Occasionally he would turn round.  
  
"Come on Fuu. Keep up." He would continue walking, but I could never catch him.  
  
--------------------  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
I just couldn't sleep. I lay there and lay there with my eyes closed, waiting to fall asleep. But sleep just didn't come. I got out of bed and dressed in warmer clothes. I swung on my trench coat and shoes, and stepped out of my dorm. I walked down the corridor that led to the main hall.  
  
But I stopped in my tracks. I thought my eyes were betraying me. I walked closer to what I stopped at. I was right! There was Fujin walking at the end of the corridor. I ran to her, calling her name, but she didn't seem to hear me. She just kept walking. I walked up behind her and called her name again. She still didn't hear me.  
  
Something's wrong. She didn't seem herself. Her face had a half sleepy, half dream like look to it. I stopped and watched her walk away from me. I wondered what she was doing, but everything stopped as I saw her turn into the training centre corridor.  
  
"Papa! Wait for me!" I heard her call to no one.  
  
Without thinking I ran back to my dorm to grab my Hyperion. I always took it everywhere with me, just in case. She must be crazy to walk headlong into the training centre without a weapon. I swung open my door, and rushed to find my gunblade. Once I'd found it, I slammed my door behind me, and ran as fast as I could to the training centre, praying that I wasn't too late.  
  
I hurried through the training centre door, and looked around quickly for any sign of Fujin. I couldn't see her anywhere.  
  
--------------------  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
"Papa! Wait!" I called. I rounded a corner, but Papa wasn't there. I ran a little further forward, expecting to see my father there, but he wasn't anywhere. I could feel tears welling up in my eye. He wasn't real at all. He was only a dream. He wasn't really alive. He was still dead. I had imagined the whole thing!  
  
Suddenly I could hear a deep breathing behind me and I realised where I was. How could I be so stupid as to walk blind into the training centre! I felt a wave of fear run down my spine. I turned to run, but screamed at what I saw.  
  
--------------------  
  
  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
A scream echoed through the room. At once I rushed to where it came from.  
  
"Fujin!" I had found her, facing what she didn't stand a chance against. "Hey ugly! Pick on someone your own size!" I yelled at the beast of a T- Rexator. It turned round and roared, its warm breath hit me almost making me choke because of the smell. "Fujin run!" I wasn't sure if she could hear me, but she responded to my command. She fled in the other direction towards the exit. I wasn't in the mood for fighting, so I tried to escape. But this brute of an animal wouldn't let me. I fired one of the bullets from Hyperion distracting the T-Rexator allowing me to escape. I turned and ran.  
  
I met Fujin at the entrance. She was sitting on the floor curled up, crying. I walked over to her and reached out to pick her up. But she flinched away, shutting me out.  
  
"Fujin?"  
  
"He wasn't real...my father was a fake." She mumbled to herself.  
  
"Fujin...come on...You need your rest." I tried to pick her up again, but her thrashing fit began again. Her whole body was limp, allowing her twitching nerves to throw her body in any way they wanted. She cried out louder and her crying became more intense. Every single movement I made seemed to make things worse. Her hands came to her head as she cried out in pain.  
  
Why Fujin? Why did she have to go through all this pain? But something then happened that really made me shiver and turn cold.  
  
Blue light began to emerge from her body. She glowed a pale blue that turned deeper and deeper with each twist and turn her body made. Her body was now curled up as tight as she could go, her knees up to her face. The colour drained from her face, making her look as if she were dead.  
  
She threw herself across the ground as her whole body appeared slashed and cut. Blood trickled down her skin and stained her now torn clothes. This wasn't something that was meant to happen. People just don't suddenly have their entire body slashed just like that. I couldn't leave her and go for help. I couldn't do anything but sit here and watch her die. I decided that however much it hurt her, and me, that she was coming with me. Despite her unconscious efforts to knock me out and her screams of suffering, I gathered her bleeding body in my arms.  
  
She had to get help, and fast. The blue light still glowed around her, but that was the least of my worries. I ran to find Squall's and the others dorms. Maybe they could help me, but before that I ran to the infirmary to get the biggest amount of bandage possible.  
  
Her skin colour was fading even more, and she was growing colder and colder. It was like carrying a dead body, but I could still feel her breathing. If I didn't act quickly enough, I would lose the girl I loved. 


	8. Chapter 8 The Last Dream

Chapter 8 - The Last Dream  
  
  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
  
  
My lone footsteps echoed through the silent corridors of the Garden. I could hear nothing else except my own breathing and footsteps. I reached the dorms and ran straight to Squall's. I didn't care that it was the middle of the night, Fujin needed help. I pounded on the door impatiently. From inside, I heard a muffled moan and hesitant movement. The door opened revealing a very angry, grumpy Squall. He glared at me with his ice blue eyes. But that soon changed as he saw the bandaged, glowing girl in my arms.  
  
"What in the world happened?" he said while returning to his room. He pulled on a shirt and disappeared into the bathroom. He returned quickly in different clothes.  
  
"You think I know?" Squall brushed past me and called me to follow. He strode out of his dorm and began to knock on five other doors. Out of each came sleepy familiar faces.  
  
"What on earth is it Squall?" Rinoa said while stifling a yawn.  
  
"What do you want?" Zell looked ready to kill. "I'm losing precious sleep!" Squall said nothing to each complaint he received. When everyone was silent, he pointed to Fujin. Everyone's faces froze and were now fully awake. Nobody spoke; they all looked too scared to do so.  
  
"Right everybody! Fujin needs help and fast. Lets move to the hall where there's room. Take your weapons with you and get there as soon as possible." Squall ordered. He really did know how to act in any situation. He would always assume leadership. I followed him while everyone else returned to their rooms.  
  
***  
  
It wasn't long before everyone was assembled in the main hall. I had laid Fujin down on the floor and was sitting by her side. I had no idea what to do; I hoped Squall had a plan. The blue glow had grown bigger and was almost blocking out Fujin altogether. I feared that she wouldn't be able to wake up, or that time would run out, causing me to lose Fujin forever. If that did happen, I wouldn't know what to do. Fujin was...everything to me.  
  
"Squall...What are we going to do?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know. I'm thinking alright?" Everyone was worried. I could see everyone trying to think of what in the world was happening. This couldn't be Fujin's last dream. Nothing was ever this extreme. What was really worrying me was the blue light emitting from her body. Then it hit me.  
  
"Do you think something is inside her?" Everyone snapped their heads up.  
  
"We could try drawing what ever it is from her..." Selphie suggested.  
  
"All right everyone! Focus all you can and try to find anything unusual inside Fujin." Squall barked. I sat by Fujin's side as they took up their weapons. Time seemed to past so slowly as nothing was said between anybody. I silently hoped that this group of people would do the job. I knew nobody else who would or could help me. I suppose they were my friends? Suddenly someone spoke up, breaking the anxious silence.  
  
"I've found something! But this isn't your average GF." Quistis called out.  
  
"GF?" Everyone said altogether.  
  
"That's what it is alright." Irvine agreed as he found it too.  
  
"Ok. Everyone find the GF and draw it out!" Squall ordered. Time again passed slowly, and the blue light was beginning to completely engulf Fujin's body. I heard her cry out softly and she started to move. I looked down at her and held her still. As I continued to watch her, I saw what I thought to be the beginning of a draw wave.  
  
"Keep going!" I shouted to them. Each of their faces represented the determination of their task. I didn't even expect them to help me, after what I did to them, but I thanked them silently for helping me.  
  
The draw beam became bigger and more visible. I felt as if I could smile as this was finally coming to an end. This had to be causing the nightmares that Fujin had to suffer. If it wasn't...then...I didn't want to think about that. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and concentrated on Fujin. I if could do anything to help, I would be up there with them, but I hadn't anything junctioned to me.  
  
The blue light was fading slightly, and the draw wave was lifting out of Fujin's body. It was rising slowly, occasionally falling back down. Whatever it was, it didn't want to come out. It shook from side to side in the same place, but suddenly spun off in a different direction as if it had been hit by something. Everyone's concentration broke as the ball of light bounced off the walls all around the room. All eyes in the room were on the stray ball of light. It came to rest a little way of from the group, but everyone began to step back as they saw what was happening.  
  
The orb was growing in size and gaining a black colour to it. Electricity began to generate from the centre, and a dark hazy mist began to linger around the orb of electric light. I watched them prepare themselves for the worst. Their weapons were up with their faces looking slightly fazed.  
  
The orb began to take the form of a huge creature, forming the basic shape of the GF. The mist cleared unmasking the fearsome beast. It was huge! The ribbed horns on the top of its face spiralled and curved into a deadly point. It had a wide face, smoking nostrils, and glaring yellow eyes that glared at each and every person in the room. There were no pupils, just solid yellow against it's dark purple fur. It's long fangs were visible overhanging its mouth. The GF's immense clawed hands hung down by its knees, it's long spider like claws reaching even further. The exterior was rough and muscular,. With it's grinning teeth, you wouldn't want to be around when this thing attacked. Great bat like wings sprouted from its bare back, the tough leather like silk that connected the wings together was almost see through, giving the beast a ghost like appearance. It crouched down to meet the floor, bearing it's teeth and showing it's well toned muscles amongst the fur. The long coarse fur ended just above it's foot, leaving the flesh visible. Huge long claws sprung from it's feet that dug themselves in the floor leaving deep claw shaped groves.  
  
"Oh..." I couldn't finished my sentence as the great behemoth let out it's roar.  
  
"Selphie! Go and warn the headmaster about this! Everyone else...You know what you've got to do!" Squall shouted to the group.  
  
"Right!" Everyone said in unison. Selphie left us as she ran for the exit. The remaining five tried to use every possible spell that they could think of. I saw them summon various GFs, but they were either beaten of had no effect. I looked back and saw a crowd of Garden students staring in disbelief at the monster. Suddenly, it spoke.  
  
"You can't even touch me you weak scum! It's no use trying to defeat me because you can't! You brat of a daughter! If you were strong enough.but no! You are the weakest scrap of flesh I have ever laid eyes on!"  
  
"Seifer..." A small, tired voice came from below me.  
  
"Fuu? Thank Hyne you're awake. Look...What is that thing?" I helped her sit up and I pointed to the GF.  
  
"I have no idea." She said. I could hear it in her voice that it was hurting her to speak.  
  
"You're the only one who can stop this Fuu."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't know what it meant, but I think you're the only one who can end this." Fujin stayed silent for a while. She looked on in hesitation about what to do.  
  
"I killed her."  
  
"You what?" I wasn't sure what she was saying. I looked at her puzzled.  
  
"I killed my own mother!" she shouted. 


	9. Chapter 9 The Summoned GF

Chapter 9 - The Summoned GF  
  
  
  
Tears were falling down her face, but I'm wasn't sure whether it was just from the pain, or that she was grieving for her mother.  
  
"I came back to her, and killed her using Pandemona..." I didn't know what to say. Everything's confusing as it is. I let her continue. "That...thing...is my mother...reincarnated as a GF." Her gaze fell to the ground. "That was my last dream." Her knees gave way as she finished speaking but I caught her before she hit the ground.  
  
"Fuu...Please. You've got to do this." I held her close to me, pressing her head to my chest.  
  
"But what can I do?" Her voice was so quiet I could hardly hear her over the losing battle that the others were fighting.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Who has Pandemona?" Fujin said.  
  
"Hey! Which one of you has Pandemona?" I called to the group. Quistis answered my question. "Junction it to Fujin!" I shouted back at her. Quistis transferred Pandemona to Fujin. A little strength in her fragile body was regained as she pushed herself from me to standing. She walked over to the others and began to summon her GF. I let her go to do what she needed to do, but I stayed near her. I don't know why, but I felt I needed to protect her.  
  
The monster before us caught sight of Fujin begin her summoning. She knew what she was doing, and it launched an attack directly at Fujin. If it hit her, she wouldn't be able to stop it. The powerful magical attack still aimed for Fujin. Something drove me to run forward. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I knew that it would help Fujin. I took the attack for her. Pain raged through my body as it struck Hyperion and soared up through my hands, striking my body. I shouted out in pain.  
  
I heard faintly the others gasp at my actions, but I didn't care about that. Nothing was more apparent at the moment than protecting Fujin. The attack ended, and I fell on my knees. I shook violently as I felt like collapsing. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone reach down to me, offering a hand. I looked up and saw Squall. I extended an unsteady hand and took his offer. He pulled me up off the floor and I tried to stand up. I stumbled, but I steadied myself.  
  
"Good job." Squall said to me. He patted my shoulder and turned to the others. "Listen up! Everyone is to protect Fujin at all costs!" Everyone nodded, and stood round her in a protective circle.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Fujin's POV  
  
I stood in the middle of the group, ignoring their safeguarding actions. My red eye was set on the beast that my mother had become. I murmured words to myself, trying my best with the remaining strength I had left, to bring forward my GF to fight for me. If it could kill her once, it could kill her again.  
  
Finally she came. Pandemona appeared out of no where and came to my side. Our bodies disappeared from the human eye, but I was still there watching the battle raging on. Her huge form matched that of my mother's. The beast lunged at Pandemona and both of them came tumbling towards us in a whirl of colour. They both passed straight through us. My mother sunk her sharp teeth into Pandemona and I heard her groan in pain. I watched in disbelief at what was happening. It couldn't happen.it just couldn't be happening! I stood amongst the group, watching their expressions change to match my own. Pandemona couldn't lose.but my hope was fading with every lunge my mother made into Pandemona.  
  
As I watched, I noticed a faint screeching noise coming from the sky. I thought it was nothing but out of nowhere came a burst of energy that struck both Gfs with a mighty force. A mighty roar sounded through the sky, and everyone craned their necks to the source. There hovering in the air flew the legendary dragon king, Bahamut. A breath of joy passed out of my mouth, full of renewed hope. The Mega Blast had thrown both Pandemona and my mother in opposite directions. Bahamut disappeared as Squall let out a deep breath. I would thank him later, but I knew that if I were to win this then I would have to concentrate all my remaining energy to my beloved GF. I could feel that Pandemona was running low on Hp, but I gave her all my strength to continue. I felt my body grow weaker as I saw Pandemona grow in strength as she stood and thudded over to my dazed mother. She performed her attack, sucking in the huge spiky beast, and spitting her back out again. I wasn't sure what went on inside, but my monstrous mother came back out covered in sticky liquid. Pandemona disappeared as I lost my concentration, but I couldn't see what happened next. Something clouded my eye, but there was no mist present in front of me.  
  
The last of my strength and energy had expired, causing me to collapse to the floor. Tears of exhaustion fell from my eyes, and I began to shake.  
  
"Pandemona...I call on you...please come to my side again." I said quietly. My breathing was hard and wobbly. I sensed someone come down beside me, but the movements were drowned out by another roar of an enraged GF. The sticky liquid was sticking everything together. My mother's wings were woven together; her feet and arms were also tied. The liquid was acting like a magnet, pulling the nearest lump of fluid to it.  
  
I looked to my side, and saw my one and only Seifer. He was always there for me. No matter what the situation, he was always there supporting me.  
  
"Here. Get up." He said softly. His voice was shaky too as he offered a hand. I had seen him almost sacrifice himself to the attack of my mother. I had wanted to scream out and push him out of the way, but if I lost my concentration Pandemona wouldn't have been summoned at the time she was.  
  
I rose with his help and called on Pandemona again. Seifer held me against him for support. As I put all my last fragments of life left in me, I began to summon Pandemona once more. As she descended from the sky, and thumped to the floor, I could feel the weakness that she had. My strength was very limited and that meant Pandemona suffered from my feeble strength.  
  
"See.I can.be strong." I mumbled.  
  
My mother hollered at me as she heard my words even more viciously than before.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, you weak, petty brat!"  
  
She roared again full of anger, and turned my focus to Pandemona, enraged that she had attacked her before. She charged towards my GF, but Pandemona attacked first, drawing in my mother for one last time. She had no will to restrain. She couldn't do a thing about the attack. As my mother was thrown back out of Pandemona's huge mouth, another mystery beam from the sky hit my mother and exploded on impact. With my concentration reaching it's limits, I broke it and Pandemona disappeared. I looked up to the sky once more, to see Bahamut still hovering in the confined space of the room.  
  
"Thank you..." That was the last thing I said before everything went black.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Seifer's POV  
  
I felt Fujin fall back against me. Her eye was closed and she looked like she was sleeping. Her body was completely limp and she modelled against me perfectly. I held her close to me as I looked on the defeated GF. Pandemona had disappeared as had Bahamut. There was nothing that the huge GF could do. Bahamut's Mega Blast had hit it right in it's weak spot. I saw Squall rush forward and unleash his Renzokuken limit break. His blue Lionheart gunblade slashed through the tough purple fur again and again. His Lionheart finishing sequence lashed out again and again, a repeat of his Renzokuken limit break.  
  
The monster let out one last cry and fell to the ground. Its original blue black light began to cover its body again, blocking out the beastly yellow eyes and unrefined purple fur. Its fangs were shut out, as were its bat wings. The blue black illumination began to get smaller and smaller, and soon it disappeared.  
  
I held Fujin closer to me, praying that nothing else would have to come to Fujin. She had been through enough to last her a lifetime.  
  
"Please. Let her be." I whispered to myself. I picked her up in my arms and walked over to the others. They were all congratulating each other on a job well done. "Thanks for helping her." I said to the group. It was somewhat awkward. I had never really been friendly to these people, and suddenly they were all helping me out in my time of need.  
  
"Of course! Anything for a friend in need!" Selphie said as she came over to us.  
  
"Get her over to the infirmary," Squall said to me. "She can rest there." I nodded, thanked them again and left them. 


	10. Chapter 10 Undivided

Chapter 10 - Undivided  
Seifer's POV  
Fujin had slept for three days so far. Not once had she awoken or even moved. The only change in her position was the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. I sat by her side every day, anxiously waiting for the moment when she would wake up.  
  
Everyone had stopped by today; wishing Fujin would get better. I never had expected them to be so friendly and accepting. It was like I had been friends with them forever. But the only thing I ever did to them was bully them, acting the big shot. Everyone was pleasant to me, although Squall still kept his distance. I couldn't blame him for holding a grudge against me though. I was an idiot in the first place to follow Edea all over the place, doing her will and wishes. Now that I look back on it, I regret what I did. Even Rinoa had seemed to forget what I did to her. Quistis, Irvine, Zell and Selphie all acted like the family I never had. I guess our time at the orphanage paid off.  
  
Once lessons had restarted, the group left us. I might have gone with them, but I had no place here. I had already disgraced myself enough in the presence of the other students. I felt lucky that they even allowed me into the Garden.  
  
I looked down on my reason to live. Her beautiful, serene face lay untouched. Her platinum hair curved round her cheeks perfectly, although a few strands of silver hair were out of place. I swept them off of her face, but my fingers stayed touching her soft pale skin. I stroked her lifeless cheek gently hoping to bring a little life back into her, but my efforts had no effect. Her breathing remained constant, and her features had no change.  
  
Little by little Fujin seemed to be slipping away from me. She hadn't moved in three days, and she still showed no sign of awakening. Her thin body had taken its worst blow and all her strength had expired. I wasn't surprised that she hadn't moved, as all her energy was exhausted. There was almost no life left in her.  
  
But still at the back of my mind, there was something telling me again and again that she might not make it back to me. I didn't want to consider that; I didn't even want the thought to even cross my mind. Fujin was the most important girl in my life. She had to wake up. To know that she would return my feelings, and then have her unable to...that would almost to be too much to bear.  
  
At that moment I felt tears well up in my eyes. At first I didn't quite know what was happening. Tears were long extinct from my eyes, but a tiny droplet of water worked its way out of its suffocated resting-place. Other tears followed the first, my emotions regaining control of my body.  
---  
Fujin's POV  
  
I slowly became aware of my surroundings. I kept my eye shut, enjoying the moment of peace. Sunlight landed on my face, warming my skin slightly. I wanted to sit up, but I had no energy left. I lay there silently, becoming more and more aware of a presence next to me. I knew who it was but he too was silent.  
  
I lay still listening to his even breathing, but I heard him start to breathe more raggedly. I didn't know what as happening, but I chose to wait. Then I heard it. I heard the distinct sound of tears falling. Small wet drops landed suddenly on my hands that lay by my side. I chose that moment to wake up. I opened my eyes slowly, and wanted to cry myself at the sight I saw before me. Seifer had his face in his hands, allowing his tears to cascade freely down his sweet face. The openness of his emotions made me want to hold him in my arms forever.  
  
"Seifer..." I said weakly as I waited for him to turn round. But it seemed he hadn't heard me. I sat up, pushing myself to sit up with my hands. Things would be a little different from now on until my strength returned to me.  
  
I tugged on his sleeve calling his name once more. He shied away from me mumbling something I didn't quite hear. I smiled at him as I reached up to pull one of his hands away from his face. As soon as my cold hand touched his, he raised his head and looked at me. His eyes were full of disbelief, but I could see he was happy.  
  
"Fuu...You're awake." He managed to say through his tears. His mouth curved into a smile as he caught me in his arms. He held me close to him, pressing me ever closer. I hugged him back as tightly as I could. "I'm so glad you're ok." He said while a fresh waterfall of tears fell down his cheeks. I had never seen him cry before, but I could tell just by being with him that the tears he shed weren't tears of grief.  
  
It was now my turn to soothe him. He had comforted me so many times lately, and now was my turn to re pay him. I rubbed his back gently calming him. He pulled back slightly and I felt his lips on my neck. I let out a short breath of surprise as his mouth proceeded up my neck to the side of my face.  
  
"Just to make sure I'm not dreaming." I heard him whisper against my skin.  
  
"I'm no dream Seifer." I said as I took his head away from my face, my hands resting on his face. I leaned forward and took his lips with mine. I thanked him for all his help, all his commitment, through this one kiss. I had nothing to fear anymore, for I knew Seifer would always stick by me whatever happened.  
  
The sunlight shone brightly through the open window, bringing a warm feeling inside my heart. I pulled back and smiled at the most precious treasure in my life. He smiled back at me, something not seen very often. He looked even more divine when he showed his smile. I decided I loved him even more when he freed his emotions of their restraints. He seemed more human that way. But it didn't matter to me whether he was smiling or miserable. It's the fact that he loves me back.  
  
"I don't have to be afraid anymore," I said looking up to him. "Because I have you by my side."  
  
If I had listened to myself, I would have sounded like a small girl speaking to her mother for reassurance. Something I didn't quite have, but I know that I've found that someone who I know with all my heart will look after me. I could trust Seifer with anything, he could promise anything and fulfil it. He could do anything to make me happy, just like a parent and a child.  
  
"So? When are we going home?" I asked embracing my new-found parent.  
  
"Soon." Replied my beloved. 


	11. Epilogue: Childhood Dream

AN: Whoo! It's finally here! This is the final and last instalment of this story. I hope you people enjoy this. If there's anything you still don't understand please tell me so I can write another epilogue! :D I hope this will explain everything. I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed either this story or my Maiden Dreams story. You'll all been a real inspiration to help me carry on (and finish this!). Thank you!

Epilogue: Childhood Dream

Fujin's POV

I opened my eye to the darkness dwelling in my room. I had been tossing and turning for the last three hours, trying ever so hard to fall asleep, yet the world of dreams that I was once so afraid of would not take me to its land of mystery. 

I sighed loudly as I sat up in my bed, hot and sticky from the summer heat. Why was it that when I wanted to go to sleep I couldn't, and when I didn't want to fall asleep I did? I needed to escape the suffocating heat of my room, so I crept out into the cool living room, welcoming the slightly colder atmosphere with open arms and escaping the dark confining corners of my room.

Barefoot, I walked almost silently over to the sofa, a few floorboards whining as I stepped on their ancient wood. I flopped down on the soft material, wincing as the old springs squeaked in the stillness. I craned my head over to Seifer's door, hoping that I hadn't woken him, for I knew that the slightest noise could wake the light sleeper. After hearing nothing emerge from within his room, I rested my head back on the sofa and relaxed, closing my eye briefly in peace.

I hadn't felt this calm for a long time, in fact, I don't think I had ever felt this peaceful, as through out my life I was always running or hiding from something. I smiled as I sat alone, truly happy for the first time in years. I spread my arms over the back of the couch, and leaned right into the soft cotton, letting all my weight lie on the cushioned piece of furniture.

My hand strained for the TV remote as I leaned to the right and I flicked on the television quietly, and turned the volume as low as possible, the small green bars disappearing from the screen slowly. It always amazed me whether people actually watched this late at night, or rather this early in the morning…I could never imagine myself waiting this long to watch something…and yet here I was…

Suddenly I heard the click of a door and my heart sank in shame as the soft pad of footsteps approached from behind. 

"Sorry." I said apologising.

"Don't worry. I wasn't asleep anyway." Seifer replied yawning. He came and sat down next to me, my hand finding his, me eye never leaving the flashing screen of pictures. "So, what are you doing up this late?" he said.

"Nothing really. I couldn't sleep." I said leaning my head back against the sofa again, enjoying the company I now had. I tore my gaze from the small black box and it settled on Seifer.

"It wasn't…" he began.

"No…I'm fine." I said as I squeezed his hand gently.

"Good." He said a little more relaxed. I shifted from where I was sitting, bringing my knees up to my chest and leant into him, the summer warmth intensifying as his body heat engulfed me. With my head resting on his shoulder, we watched the silent flickering images in front of us together in perfect company. But as our eyes grew lazy, the moving colours became a blur, and our eyes became dumb to their meaning.

"You haven't had any bad dreams lately have you?" Seifer said breaking the silence.

"No…I guess I haven't." I said.

"That's good."

"Yes."

"We never really found out why though, did we?" 

"No," I said, but as I thought about it, I remembered Edea telling me something before I left Balamb Garden about Guardian Forces. She had always been a lovely woman. And she hadn't changed at all from when I had first met her in the orphanage.

"You know, Edea told me some things about GFs while I was still at Garden. And I think I understand now what happened."

"What did she say?" Seifer asked looking down at me. 

***

The sun was shining in the infirmary through the two small windows at either end of the bedposts. The light warmed my legs that lay under the thin blanket while I propped myself up against three white pillows as I basked in the peace and quiet of the Garden. I had been falling in and out of sleep the previous night, and now as I slept on into the late morning, my periods of consciousness were beginning to shorten.

Some time during the afternoon I had closed my eye for a few seconds when the doors slid open. I thought it was Dr. Kadowaki again, as she usually came to check up on me every hour or so while she went about her business in the Garden. 

"Hello Fujin dear," a sweet, much more feminine voice entered my ears, and I cracked open my eye. Before me stood Edea dressed in a solemn black dress that matched her dark raven hair. She had been smiling, like the way I remember so long ago. "How are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine." I said.

"That's good," she said, looking briefly out of the window, staring at some distracting amusement outside. This had been the first time she had visited me and up until now I had been scared of being in her presence again. The cold, cruel attitude of the sorceress that had possessed her had frightened me, and struck a violent chord within my being making me consciously afraid of her. But there was something in her smile that made all my built up feelings of hatred melt away…Her smile was not that of the abusing sorceress but of the loving Matron.

She turned to look at me again. "Fujin, I want to apologise for the disgusting way I've treated you over the years. You must know that I'm terribly sorry." She said taking my hand in hers, as she at looked me straight in the eye.

"It's…ok," but she still held my hand, looking at me with her wide, dark and scrutinising eyes. "Really, its fine…" I said. There were still some things that I hadn't forgiven the sorceress for yet, but I knew that she, Matron, really truly sorry. She retreated, placing her hands back in her lap. Her head was cast down for a moment, her long hair falling in front of her face.

"Fujin…do you know what GFs are?" she asked abruptly, bringing her head back up, suddenly seeming very distant. But before I could continue she carried on. "Guardian Forces, or GFs, are spirits of this world we may call upon to aid us in times of difficulty. During that time we grow and learn together as one being, living in harmony with the spirits of this world.

"But not all spirits live in this equilibrium of peace and good will. Just as people are different with their own personality and appearance, so are GFs unique with their own talents and attributes. Usually by our presence alone the spirits are kept in check as we have the power to control them. Yet like humans again, some choose to break the rules and grow in power and commit terrible tyranny in this world. . Your mother was one of those spirits. Do you understand?"

I nodded, spellbound by her odd words of wisdom. This wasn't the same woman who had just apologised to me, but nonetheless I think I was finally realising why all this had been happening to me. 

"For every Guardian Force, there is a human who has died. Those chosen have the power, and are willing to become spirits that are neither alive nor dead; simply guardians who watch over the human race, never resting from the pleas of our people. And so these spirits become what we call Guardian Forces. Their thoughts, wishes and desires then shape their spiritual appearance.

"But what we see is not their actual form. Being imperfect, tainted by sin, our minds conjure an image that we can understand. If we were free of sin and pure we would be able to see them as they truly are. But they are still spirits. They have no body.

"We have what they envy – a body; a sense of security and entirety that they don't have. That is why they reside inside us. We give them that sense of protection and invulnerability that they lost when they died. Being neither alive nor dead, perhaps we give them that comfort of being alive and living, that perhaps reminds them of their former selves."

"Why are you telling me this?" I was beginning to not understand what she was saying. I couldn't comprehend what the purpose of telling me all this. I was starting to understand a little, but she had completely lost me now.

"Listen Fujin dear," she said softly. "It's very important you understand what I'm about to tell you," she paused, taking my hand in both of hers once again. "I think that maybe your mother was reminded of herself when she looked at you."

I was shocked to see that least. I stared at her, blinking several times before the information finally settled in my brain.

"I reminded her of herself?" I said dumbfounded.

"Yes, that is what I believe. Perhaps she sees the lone, unwanted figure of herself in you, and is insecure with the fact that you have now learnt to face your fears and grow up with the people around you. 

"Maybe the way you were treated as a child was exactly the same as you was treated. I think she wanted people to suffer the way she did while she was growing up, and unfortunately you were the victim of her wrath. When she saw you grow up happily, I think she was reminded of the happiness that she never got to experience as a child and therefore wanted to make you feel the way she did because of the losses she experienced at a young age. Looking at you caused her to remember the horrible childhood that she went through. You were that living memory of her childhood. You were here childhood dream. 

"Because you were growing into all the things she couldn't have possibly been, she loathed you, and treated you the way she did. And when she died, those feelings of hatred and insecurity caused her to evolve into a spirit, or a GF."

I was slowly beginning to understand…

"Now Fujin, listen carefully," she said looking at me very seriously. "Guardian Forces are not of this world. Summoned from the high clouds of heaven, to the fiery pits of hell, our GFs are nothing more than spirits. But as spirits from each afterlife, their powers are far beyond human understanding. Some may, perhaps have a gift to distort dreams in their favour, or maybe, damage their victim's body at a time of weakness, namely while you are asleep and vulnerable to the world.

"But there are many mysteries about GFs that we can not yet fathom. What I've told you may not be true at all, but from what I can see it might be the only reasonable explanation.

"But I think that in her own way, your mother has taught you so much that you need to know in the world. Have you not learnt that there _is _some goodness in the world, and that you should embrace it? Have you not learnt to live and grow into a respectable person? Looking back, I think your mother really did love you Fujin. She was only unable to express herself in an appropriate manner."

And her words ended as suddenly as they had begun.

***

"If only her words were really true," I said sighing as I hugged Seifer's arm tightly. "I don't know what to think anymore…"

"You never know…They may well be true." He said reassuringly as he rubbed my right shoulder up and down with his strong hand.

"How could she love me if she did this?" I said trailing my fingers over my eye patch. I sighed again and buried my head into Seifer's shoulder, relishing his comforting warmth.

"It doesn't matter if she loved you or not Fuu…All that's in the past now. You've got to move on, otherwise you'll be sad all your life. And I don't like to see you being sad." He said. I looked up at him, gratitude washing over my face.

"Seifer…" I said quietly.

"Whether _she_ loved you or not," he said, shifting so he faced me directly. "_I_ love you." he whispered smiling as he pulled me close, his arms encircling me, resting on my hips.

He pulled me tighter and kissed the top of my head while his hands roamed my back and shoulders, leaving their trail of flaming, intoxicating touches where ever they grazed my thin pyjama shirt. I brought my head back and nuzzled his neck, placing small kisses on his smooth golden skin, bringing my arms up around his neck.

"Thank you." I whispered as I pulled away. He smiled, but I saw his mouth drop and his eyes widen slightly when I lifted my hands up to my eye patch.

I peeled back the black leather fabric and pulled the dark elastic band that had been surrounding my head off in one clean movement. I held my safeguard in my hands looking down at it remembering Edea who had given it to me and all the times it had sheltered me from the watching eyes of so many people, and how it had given me the confidence to start my life again. 

I got up, and taking the elastic strap in my hands, I wrenched the eye patch from its black band before walking over to the other side of the room, tossing the broken eye patch into the trash.

I felt slightly self-conscious as I turned around and walked back to Seifer, casting my face downwards. But I knew that if I continued to wear that eye patch, I would be stuck in the past, being reminded perpetually about the hatred of my mother and weakness I have. By casting away the protection, I could move on into the future…

"Look up," Seifer said softly. I obeyed, showing my scarred and chewed up face to him, smiling slightly. He held out his hand and I took it as he stood up. His hand held the left side of my face and his thumb touched the jagged wounds of my mother's pinwheel. I shivered at the unfamiliar and sensitive caresses. "You're so beautiful." He said brushing a strand of silver hair out of my face.

"Flattery will get you no where." I said punching him lightly, but I felt my cheeks grow red all the same.

"Are you sure abut this?" he said, tracing the fainter scars on my left cheek.

"Yes. While I still have it, I'm trapped in the past. If I get rid of it, I can try to forget." I said clasping his hand in both of mine, holding it to my face. 

Feeling the realms of sleep begin to settle in my mind I leaned into Seifer, supporting myself against his strong frame. I closed my eye, still holding down his hand on my cheek.

"I…love you." I said, trying to stifle a yawn, but failing miserably. I heard him laugh above my head. "What's…so funny?" I yawned again, feeling laughter rise in my veins. He didn't reply, but only ruffled my hair playfully, patting me on the back as he moved away to walk towards his room.

"Good night Fujin." He said.

"Night Seifer." I said smiling. He then turned to disappear into his room, but stopped. He watched me, catching my gaze, and I felt my heart quicken under his loving glare. "What?" I said confused feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Nothing." He said quietly looking away. His eyes glanced back to me once more. "I love you." He said, before returning to his room, leaving me alone once again in the living room.

"Seifer," I called after him as I trotted over to his room, catching the wooden door before it closed.

"Ye -?" but I cut him off as I leaned up and sealed his lips with a soft kiss. My feet bouncing back to the ground I broke away, grinning at his shocked face.

"Good night." I smiled devilishly, suddenly feeling very immature and childish. Maybe because I was now free of my eye patch the lost memories and young experiences were flooding back to me. 

Or maybe simply because I'd learned to live a little.

*-End-*


End file.
